BORN TO RUN

“Together we can live with the sadness, I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul~ Someday girl, I don’t know when, we’re gonna get to that place we really want to go, we’ll walk in the sun, until then~ Tramps like us, baby we were Born to Run” ~Springsteen

I don’t remember the date exactly when I heard Bruce was writing the story of his life, I do recall feeling excited though. For as long as I can remember, since my brother Kevin took me to my first concert, I’ve always been excited when a new album was coming out! For me (and countless others), the music he has created over his career has been like having a mentor, friend, shrink, and companion behind speakers both big and small. I like pretty much all music and have many other artists I truly enjoy listening to; but when the shit hits the fan in my head or my heart, Bruce is where I turn. After Kevin died there would be long drives listening to THE RIVER, BORN TO RUN, NEBRASKA, or DARKNESS. I would drive miles and miles upon hours and hours of listening, feeling, and wondering how to navigate through this crazy life. Then there are the live shows, each one a monumental experience of the brilliance the world provides. For 3 or 4 hours and usually days after there is this inexplicable euphoria that comes over me; it began as BORN IN THE USA shook the rafters of Giants Stadium at the first of many shows I would (and will certainly continue to) see. The E Street Band that day, brought a new found hope to a young kid that was full of angst and was in search of something that would bring me joy, passion, hope, and possibly even an understanding of the stuff I feel inside; Bruce has been doing that for me for a long time. According to “Born to Run”, the book, the concerts have been Bruce’s place to find those very same things. We see him and he sees us and that is a connection very few artists bring to their audience.

Bruce has the ability to put himself in someone else’s shoes in a way not many other artists can. As a Fireman, the chilling way he is able to feel what it must be like to be ascending those stairs in THE RISING wearing “the cross of my calling” is remarkable. He has never, as far as I know entered a burning building, but he senses it and tells the story in a very real and sensitive way. Needless to say, as a writer I anxiously awaited the delivery of the book; for as much as the music has brought to me I simply knew this would help me to connect to the artist in a new and profound way, it didn’t disappoint!

508 pages read in a matter of three days, I couldn’t put it down; there I was going through all my memories of the music and what it meant during different aspects of my life. By myself in my apartment, I experienced moments of laughter and flat out wails of crying as Bruce writes so poetically of his imagination running wild as kid or his connection to a family life he believed to be so different than anyone else’s. Sounds and smells of childhood mornings as his mom got ready for work and the need to try and impress his dad (in my case my older brothers as well). His decision of moving to California as I strongly contemplate this very move was an eye opener to say the least, the final decision to stay connected to his roots in Jersey, however sorted they may have been for him, makes a whole lot of sense at this point in my life. Bruce is so generous and open throughout the book that it’s a must read even if you’re not a “fan”. One of the biggest rock stars and artists on planet earth has struggles to overcome and real life anxiety that anyone could own. No doubt he has also had success and incredibly joyous moments that few experience, but all of it comes to fruition in a very human way. He puts it out there in such a way that you feel like you’re having a long conversation with your closest friend.

My eyes welled with tears as I read about his experience of realizing the world was closing in on him in Texas. He writes, “All I know is as we age the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier… much heavier”. For me, over a decade ago a similar experience happened and I had to take a good long look in the mirror to change everything, to break free from the demons that had a grip on my soul and caused nothing but despair. I was able to overcome alcoholism and that was the beginning of a new life. That’s not to say I haven’t had other battles since then, the “baggage” I carried was immense and I’m still processing and letting it fall every single day. Through my own decision to see a therapist and search of family history I’ve discovered parts of me that took a long time to comprehend and I could not be more grateful. The outsider in me caused me to retreat from the most pure and loving relationship I’d ever known; today I know I’ve done my best and that my half of the dream is alive. When the other half shows up, I'll be ready and willing to explore! I live a very rewarding life, because of that experience I’m now open to delving into life’s journey, not only as an individual chasing dreams, but as part of the bigger picture; a basic and strong need for connection, for love and forgiveness and healing. A connection that will one day bring me a family and sense of security all the while, basking in the moments of silliness, of passion, and creativity; this life holds all of these aspects and now I understand why Bruce Springsteen has been along with me for the ride all these years. It really “ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive!”