“Dogs have a way of finding the
people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had”
~Thom Jones
There’s
comfort in knowing that no matter what situations arise in life, whether
challenging, or triumphant, or scary, dark or magical, that you will be loved
and left un-judged. For reasons that are extremely complex to comprehend,
humans put all sorts of judgments and expectations on one another that cause immense
amounts of fear which blocks them from fully embracing love; a dog, the right
dog could teach us a lot about life and embracing the love we seek to be given
and ultimately were put here to give.
I had just finished
working for the day, my real estate agent called me to tell me that the house I
was looking to buy fell through. Turns out that is probably a blessing as I’m
not even sure where I will be in the next several months, I was somehow relieved
and sad all at the same time. That’s how my mind tends to work though,
constantly searching, always moving at breakneck speed as I attempt to simply
sloooow it down. This is certainly an ironic piece of how it works for me,
brain racing in search of a pause; it’s how I’m wired! A thought hit me that I
wanted to go see some Husky dogs, it’s a breed that has intrigued me for a long
time and I figured I would rescue one once I HAD a house. I found that it may
take some work just to see some of them so I made a phone call to see if I
could make it happen. No luck! I did however, talk to a woman I know who is
very involved in dog rescues. She couldn’t help with Huskies, but she had
recently removed a Husky/Pit Bull mix from a home where he was neglected and
mal nourished. With a few hours to kill I told her I’d stop by; she “warned” me
that he was shy and a bit scared before I got there. What the hell, if nothing
else, she has a slew of animals to visit and I was up for a little spontaneity.
As he emerged from the barn area I stood next to my car with a smile on my face
and in approximately 12 seconds Conan had both his paws on my shoulders and was
kissing my face with the ferocity of a little puppy angel. Basically I knew
right then and there that nothing was going to be the same, he was going to be
part of my life and there was nothing I’d be able to do about it; with every
overjoyed wag of his tail my heart opened up wider and wider. This beautiful
animal needed me and before long, I realized I needed him. He has taught me
quite a bit about myself and how life, making sacrifices, and following
your heart always seem to work.
This pup;
this incredibly loyal, needy, loving, playful, protective, funny, active, and
curious pup has taught me about connection. For us it was instant, he sensed
something in me that I needed (I didn’t even know it myself) and in turn, the
second he looked at me with his magical blue/brown eyes I knew we were going to
be friends for life. It is, I believe rare to find this type of bond, it does
happen though and we should embrace it and cherish it when it does. I call
it the “Hundred Percenter”; it’s different from attachment in that even when my
stubborn/logical mind told me I wasn’t quite ready to have this alliance because
I didn’t have the house yet, that my schedule is complex, that I would need
help, that well… you get the picture. I knew in my heart that I had to find a
way to make it work and I honed into what my feelings were telling me. I knew
it wasn’t going to be easy, that my landlord wasn’t crazy about the idea, that
my schedule and responsibilities to my job could be a challenge, that I was
actually unsure of myself to be capable of giving him what he needs, and if I
was ready to sacrifice some freedom to take on the partnership. He is teaching me a little bit about
time management. A free spirit with a consistently racing mind and some free
time due to my work schedule, I’ve struggled mightily with organizational
skills. There are so many things I try and do in a day that often, I wouldn’t
get any of it done due to my ADD. When you have a responsibility to get a dog
out, take him to exercise, feed him, train him etc., there is surely a sense of
programming for both of you!
I had my
doubters for sure, family and friends telling me I am “out of my mind” or that
I didn’t have the time or experience to be a proper parent. Justified concerns
for sure, but at the end of the day one of the things I’m most grateful for in
my life is that I make my own decisions and when it comes to what my heart
wants, the people who truly love and know me understand this and do not attempt
to influence me.
All I can
say is that it is working; Conan and I are figuring it all out as we go along. Everyone knew that I was going to keep this dog no matter what they thought.
When my mind is made up, I’ll make it happen. Those closest to me jumped on
board and have been encouraging and supportive; in some cases, outright
helpful!! It wouldn’t be possible without the proverbial “Village” of people
who see what I see in this far from perfect situation. Though for Conan and me,
it couldn’t get much more perfect. We welcome others to join us on this
adventure with open arms!
Conan has
taught me about true connection. We are very active; we hike, run, go to parks
and dog parks, and explore the city. He has gone from a shy and uncertain pup
to a confident and charismatic companion seemingly like magic. Everyone wants
to engage with him; this alone has allowed me to learn more about people while
opening my mind and heart to new things. Basically, he’s a magnet, attracting both
doggie and human friends too! I suppose that’s what confidence and comfort
do for us; it gives us the freedom to be spontaneous and closer to our true
playful selves. There are no judgments or guilt, simply a bond that brings out
the best in both of us. No fear, only love. This happens when our heart is
ready, when we are ready to let go of all that could hold us back and just let
life unfold the way The Universe intends it to. There will be challenges, there
will be lessons, there will be disappointments, there will be joys and
laughter, and most importantly, most hopefully, there will be “hundred
percenters”; those bonds (human and non-human) that make life worth living.
